SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We are two peas in an std pod
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
