Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
