I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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