Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
false alarm, still single
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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