If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
