Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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