He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
