i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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