I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
