yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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