If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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