So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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