pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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