She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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