I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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