they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
