I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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