My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
