if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
