i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
