life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
