Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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