yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
