I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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