No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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