hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
