haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
