I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
