..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
A bitchslap is in order.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
