I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
