I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
