she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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