I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I need to calm my uterus...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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