are you so shy because you have an std?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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