I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
