She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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