10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
