look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
