The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
