Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
