My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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