if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you win again, gameday.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
