We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
