home. puking in laundry basket.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
