I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
