Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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