Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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