i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
