The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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