She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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